The Return to Haiti and Healing

I moved to Haiti in August 2006 as a young single woman fresh out of college with my rose coloured glasses firmly in place. These glasses went so well with my, “I’m here to make a difference” attitude. It was an exciting time! 

I left Haiti in December 2016 utterly exhausted, with a broken spirit and layers upon layers of trauma. I had never imagined leaving Haiti so soon. I had planned to stay until I was ready to retire, but things got complicated. I started questioning whether I was willing to make the kind of sacrifices I had been making for a ministry whose focus had changed so drastically to things my conscience could not align with. 


Leaving was hard, but also so good. My spirit, my faith, my trust in mankind was broken beyond repair, or so I thought. I left Haiti having no desire to ever return. Just the thought of returning caused panic to rise throughout my entire body, but I also knew not returning could deeply hurt those I left behind. I tried. I really tried to return. I even bought a ticket and made the arrangements to return at one point, but had to pull out at the last minute as I didn’t think my fragile state would survive being thrown back into the fire I left behind. 


I was at war within myself. I left behind so many dearly and deeply loved friends and adopted family. Our lives were so deeply intertwined through a decade of living and growing together, through shared experiences, surviving hurricanes and an earthquake, through those vital "coming of age" years of maturing and figuring out who you are as an adult. We are bonded for life, yet, I could not return. Not yet anyway. I was so ashamed. 


Fast forward to the end of 2021, through a series of events I believe God had me knocking on the Dalton Foundation's door after I learned that they were looking for someone to join the team working on Haiti projects remotely. To say I was terrified would be an understatement, but I am so thankful I was able to say yes to this position. Haiti no longer is the equivalent of a lump in the throat and a pain in my chest. The Dalton Foundation and our work in Haiti has brought so much healing to my life. Haiti is a dichotomy of pure joy and immense suffering. I am so honoured to work in Haiti again. It is a glorious feeling to wake up and love going to work each day and to know that what I do has a real life changing impact for the country I love so much. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A Baby Sized Miracle

Image
Today I witnessed a beautiful miracle. I saw God's love poured out in a lovingly selfless act. Today I saw the hands and feet of Jesus at work. Today in Leveque something amazing happened. It started with something terribly sad. A newborn baby was dropped into a latrine and left to die. Something I cannot fathom and which shatters my heart. I cannot even begin to understand what went through this mother's mind as she let go of her baby and watched him fall into the dark pit. Thankfully God has a wonderful plan for this little life and his sweet cry was loud enough to be heard by a good samaritan passing by, who quickly called Pastor Williamson, the deaf pastor from Leveque. A group of people worked together to smash the cement cover off the latrine carefully so the baby would not be injured. Then they somehow used some metal bars and a net or basket of some sort to lift the baby out of the pit. Miraculously he only had a few scraps on him. The community came together to care
Read more

How to Be More Effective in Cross Cultural Ministry

There is a sad truth I would like to share with you. All too often people with great intentions do harm in Jesus' name in cross cultural ministry. In my ten years on the mission field I have seen a lot of amazing things happen but I've also seen a lot of hurt caused by well meaning ministry workers. I have compiled this short list of things I have learned, and that I think you should know to help you be more effective in cross cultural missions. 1. Always remember that YOU are the foreigner. This is not your country, you are a guest and should act like one. 2. The people you are serving know SO much more than you ever will about their country, culture and needs. 3. Your way isn't the only way, or necessarily the right way. 4. You better work your butt off to learn the language, and quickly. If you have been living or serving in a foreign land for a year and still can't communicate more than basic greetings to those you came to serve you need to make some chang
Read more

Gross, gross, gross!!

I can handle mice. I can handle rats. I can handle lizards. I can handle cockroaches. I can handle snakes. I can handle tarantulas. I can handle flying green leaf shaped bugs that smell funny. I can handle a lot more than your average woman, with two minor exceptions: Dead things and Haitian frogs. I can kill a mouse, a cockroach, a snake or a tarantula without fear, but once it's dead I'm not going near it! A lizard on my bedroom wall doesn't faze me, but a dead one in the closet makes me run for the door. Strange I know...but dead things just freak me out! Haitian frogs on the other hand have me running around screaming like a scared little girl. I specify Haitian frogs because Canadian frogs have never really bothered me, except that one time in grade 8 when Ben Lanteigne kicked a frog and it came flying right for my face! Haitian frogs are a whole other ball game. They are the kind of frogs you would see in the Toronto zoo. They always look wet and slimy and ha
Read more