Where my heart is

I have this vision, it’s like a cheesy scene in a movie; I’m running, slow motion, across the courtyard with my arms wide open. It’s hot, dusty, my hair is sticking to the back of my neck, my eyes are welling up about to spill over and I can’t stop smiling. I hear laughter and my name repeated over and over as the kids run out of the Hope House towards me.

Every time I visualize the scene I get choked up. I’ve been away from my kids for far too long. I have missed them so much. I miss their laughter, their fingerprints all over everything and seeing their noses pressed up against my screen door. I miss hearing my name repeated a billion times a day, and waiting in my truck as Steevenson runs across the yard yelling, “Don’t open the door, I want to open it for you.” I miss seeing the teenage girls giggling while they watch the boys play basketball, I miss chasing the girls back to the Hope House far away from those very same boys. I miss saying, “Where are your shoes?” over and over all day long. I miss the smell of rice and beans, and the clank of metal plates. I miss struggling through technical difficulties every Friday night. I miss sneaking into the baby room when I should really be working on something else. I miss dirty feet and working in my garden. I miss my old truck and it’s bad second gear. I miss the hum of the fan as I fall asleep. I miss the smell of fresh laundry off the line. I miss inverters, and batteries, water shortages and leaky roofs. I miss $7 boxes of cereal and all day trips to the grocery store. I miss heated debates over lunch at Gro Papa Poul, with hot sauce drizzled over everything. I miss babies with afros and ribbons and bows. I miss Mamoun’s coffee and getting very little done while somehow still working hard all day. I miss waking up every day knowing I'm a 30 second drive away from my heart.

Thankfully I won’t have to miss it all much longer. Thursday morning I will be home sweet home, ready to start my fifth year in Haiti!

Peace, love and Haiti,


Rachel

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