The Revolving Door
One of, if not the most difficult thing I have encountered in my 6 and a half years on the mission field is relationships. There are so many dynamics to the relationships we experience here every day.
Relationship between North American staff members is a tricky one, on so many levels. We live together, we work together, we eat together (some people do anyway), we go to the grocery store together, we take our days off together, we work out together, we go to church together, we go to Bible study together, we live just a few meters away from each other, when we go for a walk we see each other, we see each other all dressed up for Sunday, in our pajamas and after we have just thrown up. We are in each others faces 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
It is a situation not many will ever experience. It can be amazing, it really can, and some of my closest friends have been my next-door neighbours or roommates over the years.
It can be hard too though, especially when people leave. We are more than a staff, more than a group of people living together, we are a family. I have spent more time with these people than my own flesh and blood for over 6 years. Which is what makes it so hard when people leave, and even sometimes when new people come.
Every time a new staff member moves in it takes a few weeks for everyone to adjust to this new member of the family. It's like everyone is trying to figure out their place in the family, their roles, where they stand and really who they are all over again. The new person is trying to figure out who everyone is and what they do while we are all trying to figure out if this is a person we want to let into our inner circle. If this is someone I want to invest myself in and risk being hurt by.
Where does the hurt come in? In the leaving. It's like a revolving door. Teams are streaming through every week, interns are coming in for a few months at a time, staff are all signing on for 6 month, 9 month, 12 month contracts, state side staff fly in and fly out every week. It is truly like a whirlwind of people. But unfortunately it has been my experience that everyone who comes is eventually going to leave. At first I jumped into new friendships with abandon, even with team members. It was so exciting to make a new friend, to have someone new to spend time with, explore with, learn with, grow with, but then they leave, and you're left brokenhearted and having to start all over again. It took me two years of heart breaking departures before I really started to build up a protective wall. I still let people in, but it takes a lot and in all honesty not too many make it inside, especially if they have a solid leave date. That being said, I do have amazing friends on campus whom I love dearly and couldn't imagine life without them. God has continually brought people into my life who bless me immensely and enrich my life, He always knows just what we need.
We are currently in a season of change here on campus. It seems like every week someone else is leaving and it has really stirred something up in me. There is a battle between truly wanting to get to know people, and share our experiences and our lives together in community while we have the chance, and protecting myself from bonding with people, depending on people, supporting people, and looking to them for support when I know it could all disappear in an instant.
I am so thankful to have an incredible husband and three awesome kids. They make life on campus feel safe and secure. To know that no matter what they will always be there makes me breathe a little easier. I also cherish my family back in Canada more than I ever thought possible, I love them to pieces, I really do.
Oh, this crazy life we lead.
Please be praying for our staff as we are adjusting to life without some of our dear friends, and pray for them as they transition back into life in North America.
Peace, love and transitions.
Rachel
Relationship between North American staff members is a tricky one, on so many levels. We live together, we work together, we eat together (some people do anyway), we go to the grocery store together, we take our days off together, we work out together, we go to church together, we go to Bible study together, we live just a few meters away from each other, when we go for a walk we see each other, we see each other all dressed up for Sunday, in our pajamas and after we have just thrown up. We are in each others faces 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
It is a situation not many will ever experience. It can be amazing, it really can, and some of my closest friends have been my next-door neighbours or roommates over the years.
It can be hard too though, especially when people leave. We are more than a staff, more than a group of people living together, we are a family. I have spent more time with these people than my own flesh and blood for over 6 years. Which is what makes it so hard when people leave, and even sometimes when new people come.
Every time a new staff member moves in it takes a few weeks for everyone to adjust to this new member of the family. It's like everyone is trying to figure out their place in the family, their roles, where they stand and really who they are all over again. The new person is trying to figure out who everyone is and what they do while we are all trying to figure out if this is a person we want to let into our inner circle. If this is someone I want to invest myself in and risk being hurt by.
Where does the hurt come in? In the leaving. It's like a revolving door. Teams are streaming through every week, interns are coming in for a few months at a time, staff are all signing on for 6 month, 9 month, 12 month contracts, state side staff fly in and fly out every week. It is truly like a whirlwind of people. But unfortunately it has been my experience that everyone who comes is eventually going to leave. At first I jumped into new friendships with abandon, even with team members. It was so exciting to make a new friend, to have someone new to spend time with, explore with, learn with, grow with, but then they leave, and you're left brokenhearted and having to start all over again. It took me two years of heart breaking departures before I really started to build up a protective wall. I still let people in, but it takes a lot and in all honesty not too many make it inside, especially if they have a solid leave date. That being said, I do have amazing friends on campus whom I love dearly and couldn't imagine life without them. God has continually brought people into my life who bless me immensely and enrich my life, He always knows just what we need.
We are currently in a season of change here on campus. It seems like every week someone else is leaving and it has really stirred something up in me. There is a battle between truly wanting to get to know people, and share our experiences and our lives together in community while we have the chance, and protecting myself from bonding with people, depending on people, supporting people, and looking to them for support when I know it could all disappear in an instant.
I am so thankful to have an incredible husband and three awesome kids. They make life on campus feel safe and secure. To know that no matter what they will always be there makes me breathe a little easier. I also cherish my family back in Canada more than I ever thought possible, I love them to pieces, I really do.
Oh, this crazy life we lead.
Please be praying for our staff as we are adjusting to life without some of our dear friends, and pray for them as they transition back into life in North America.
Peace, love and transitions.
Rachel
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