Ripe Mango Chronicles

I had a bad day yesterday. I've been shocked again and again at how insensitive, ungrateful and just plain rude people can be sometimes. I wont go into details of what happened but it's brought about some very strong feelings. Yesterday I was over it. O V E R  I T. In my devotional time this morning I asked the Lord to reveal to me where I am going wrong. Similar situations have happened with this same group of people over and over for a little more than two years. I'm realizing more and more how imperfect I am, and want to stop throwing blame around like confetti undeservingly. Am I the problem? Lord reveal to me the areas I need to grow, the places I need to change, and heaven help me but once again give me the willpower to forgive these people who have hurt me and never seem to realize the damage they have done. After a little too much reflecting and maybe some choice words and emotions spoken in my psyche I have come to the conclusion that the root of my disappointm...

I've come to the conclusion that I will need a lot of therapy to recover from 10 years 4 months and 4 days of life in Haiti. The depth of the pain and betrayal I have experienced personally and as part of the general population of a third world country. The pain I have been witness to, the human rights violations I've seen, the abuse of all kinds, the corruption I've witnessed, the screams of grief I've heard and held deep inside, the tears I've cried, oh the tears I've cried. This country is so dark some days, it can seem like a deep dark evil place where children aren't protected, women aren't valued highly, men rule with an iron fist and death is around every corner. There is a church or NGO on every dusty corner yet the body of Christ does not often work in unity. I've seen people take advantage of natural disasters for personal gain. I've experienced deep hurts inflicted by fellow believers. I'll also need therapy to talk through the m...

On Monday night I shared a prayer request with some friends. I said something along the lines of, "We believe and trust that God is going to come through for us, but I so desperately want something tangible, something I can actually touch, that will assure me this is all going to work out." We prayed together and I left that meeting feeling like God was going to show up in a real way. Tuesday came and went and nothing changed. Then Wednesday night my friends and I started a new Bible study, Gideon by Priscilla Shirer. About 20 minutes into the study Priscilla shared something and I felt like the Lord was speaking to me directly. This is what I heard: We get to see God move when we step out of a safe and comfortable existence and put ourselves in situations where God has to move, when we take a step of faith that requires God to show up in a real way for us or it all falls apart. But how often do we put ourselves in these situations where we become desperate for God? T...