I Won't Ask for Easy
On Monday night I shared a prayer request with some friends. I said something along the lines of, "We believe and trust that God is going to come through for us, but I so desperately want something tangible, something I can actually touch, that will assure me this is all going to work out." We prayed together and I left that meeting feeling like God was going to show up in a real way.
Tuesday came and went and nothing changed.
Then Wednesday night my friends and I started a new Bible study, Gideon by Priscilla Shirer. About 20 minutes into the study Priscilla shared something and I felt like the Lord was speaking to me directly.
This is what I heard:
We get to see God move when we step out of a safe and comfortable existence and put ourselves in situations where God has to move, when we take a step of faith that requires God to show up in a real way for us or it all falls apart. But how often do we put ourselves in these situations where we become desperate for God? Too often we pray for easy simple lives that never REQUIRE God showing up. When we pray for an easy life we miss out on witnessing acts of God in our lives and the incredible passion that is ignited in our hearts when we experience God in this way.
It was a gut check for sure. My prayer for something tangible was the easy way out, a trust copout. I didn't want to have to blindly trust God for one more minute, I wanted to have proof that he would do what I believe He said he would do.
This trust thing is really hard. I've been a hot mess if I'm completely honest. I believe that God is going to come through in amazing ways, but I have to remind myself over and over throughout every day that I trust the Lord with my future and, more importantly, my family's future.
There I was asking for an easy stress free life when God really just wants the opportunity to show up for me and my family and to ignite a new passion in my life and deepen my dependence and trust in Him. But this requires my complete and utter faith that he will be there to catch us as we free fall off the ledge!
Can we talk about my life just for a moment? The actual scary details of my current reality? Here are the facts. We accepted a pastoral position in Canada (woohoo!!!!), sent in our letters of resignation and announced to the world that we are moving at the end of the year before we had any guarantee that we will legally be able to do so. Add to that the fact that we LIVE at our jobs that we just quit and our children have a private teacher as one of the incredible perks of our job. Throw in the fact that the projected processing time of our application is cutting things REALLY short (as in almost impossible) to us actually being able to leave Haiti by the end of the year since there is only 1 flight a week. Which means we could miss Kenol's start date, we could miss the beginning of the new semester at a new school, or we could not be approved at all and end up jobless, homeless and without an English schooling option for our children.
I hate the unknown I'm living in, the feelings of uncertainty, and fear of what "could" happen if it all falls apart, I hate every second of it. BUT oh how beautiful it will be, after all these months of blindly trusting and holding on to faith, when God shows up and performs miracle after miracle in my life and He makes a way when it kind of seems like there is no way. Imagine the testimony we will have!! The new found trust and passion we will have for the Lord. I don't want to miss out on that for anything.
So friends, please pray with us, please ask for miracles in our lives, please beg the Lord to let us experience an act of God in our lives first hand, pray that all the (many many) pieces fall together exactly as they need to to make this transition work, and for God to provide for the mounting pile of needs we have and foresee coming in this transition. But let's not ask for it to be easy, because I don't want to trade in my passion being set a blaze for anything, not even something I can hold right now. It's all going to be worth it.
I trust that my family will walk through immigration in Montreal, Canada with everything we need on Tuesday, December 27th, because my God is in the miracle business and He has called us to serve.
Rachel
Tuesday came and went and nothing changed.
Then Wednesday night my friends and I started a new Bible study, Gideon by Priscilla Shirer. About 20 minutes into the study Priscilla shared something and I felt like the Lord was speaking to me directly.
This is what I heard:
We get to see God move when we step out of a safe and comfortable existence and put ourselves in situations where God has to move, when we take a step of faith that requires God to show up in a real way for us or it all falls apart. But how often do we put ourselves in these situations where we become desperate for God? Too often we pray for easy simple lives that never REQUIRE God showing up. When we pray for an easy life we miss out on witnessing acts of God in our lives and the incredible passion that is ignited in our hearts when we experience God in this way.
It was a gut check for sure. My prayer for something tangible was the easy way out, a trust copout. I didn't want to have to blindly trust God for one more minute, I wanted to have proof that he would do what I believe He said he would do.
This trust thing is really hard. I've been a hot mess if I'm completely honest. I believe that God is going to come through in amazing ways, but I have to remind myself over and over throughout every day that I trust the Lord with my future and, more importantly, my family's future.
There I was asking for an easy stress free life when God really just wants the opportunity to show up for me and my family and to ignite a new passion in my life and deepen my dependence and trust in Him. But this requires my complete and utter faith that he will be there to catch us as we free fall off the ledge!
Can we talk about my life just for a moment? The actual scary details of my current reality? Here are the facts. We accepted a pastoral position in Canada (woohoo!!!!), sent in our letters of resignation and announced to the world that we are moving at the end of the year before we had any guarantee that we will legally be able to do so. Add to that the fact that we LIVE at our jobs that we just quit and our children have a private teacher as one of the incredible perks of our job. Throw in the fact that the projected processing time of our application is cutting things REALLY short (as in almost impossible) to us actually being able to leave Haiti by the end of the year since there is only 1 flight a week. Which means we could miss Kenol's start date, we could miss the beginning of the new semester at a new school, or we could not be approved at all and end up jobless, homeless and without an English schooling option for our children.
I hate the unknown I'm living in, the feelings of uncertainty, and fear of what "could" happen if it all falls apart, I hate every second of it. BUT oh how beautiful it will be, after all these months of blindly trusting and holding on to faith, when God shows up and performs miracle after miracle in my life and He makes a way when it kind of seems like there is no way. Imagine the testimony we will have!! The new found trust and passion we will have for the Lord. I don't want to miss out on that for anything.
So friends, please pray with us, please ask for miracles in our lives, please beg the Lord to let us experience an act of God in our lives first hand, pray that all the (many many) pieces fall together exactly as they need to to make this transition work, and for God to provide for the mounting pile of needs we have and foresee coming in this transition. But let's not ask for it to be easy, because I don't want to trade in my passion being set a blaze for anything, not even something I can hold right now. It's all going to be worth it.
I trust that my family will walk through immigration in Montreal, Canada with everything we need on Tuesday, December 27th, because my God is in the miracle business and He has called us to serve.
Rachel
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