Ripe Mango Chronicles

This numb feeling scares me. It is exactly how I felt when I got the call about the flooding in Cabaret. The same nothingness I felt standing in the shower after I found out that Maggie died. It’s the absence of emotion I felt after the earthquake. It’s the empty hole I feel whenever I try to imagine someone other than Pastor John saying, “you may now kiss the bride.” at my wedding. It’s a pain so deep you can’t quite access it. So ‘nothing’ fills its place. Every morning when I step out on my balcony and look out at my garden I feel the rush of emotion shooting up to my throat. I quickly turn around and keep myself busy making coffee or planning out my day. When I talk to Patris and hear the pain is his voice, my eyes instantly yearn for the tears to start flowing, so we start talking about the bread I need to order for the orphanage. I’m nervous about tomorrow. I know I won’t be able to keep it all down. I am beginning to understand Haitian grieving. Throwing yourself on the ground, ...

It’s been a long time since I’ve written anything about the earthquake, and in a way I hate to start again now, but the truth is January 12th, 2010 is a day that forever changed me. The Earthquake itself was scary of course, how could it not be when you your cement house is wiggling like jello and things are smashing all around you? Yes, it was scary, but the earthquake isn’t what changed me. It was the aftershocks, the things I saw, the screaming, the wailing, the smells, the blank stares, the cracks everywhere, so many cracks. A few days ago I was described as “fragile”. Not as a put down, but as a matter of fact statement. “I know you are fragile Rachel, but you don’t need to worry.” I wasn’t really sure how to respond to this, but after spending some time reflecting I realized that it is true. I am fragile. I also realized that it’s ok. My house has visible cracks, the walls, the ceiling, the stairs, the patio, the railing…you can see them all. You know the house was ...

Tonight was an exciting night. Pastor Patris has started a Bible study with our kids 12 and older on Thursday nights, and I decided it would only make sense to have a Bible study for the little kids at the same time. I started leading a Monday Bible study with the ladies on campus a few months ago and have really enjoyed it. We’ve gone through Crazy Love and Forgotten God and it’s been so great. We’re about to start another Francis Chan DVD book study called Who is God? Leading the study is so far out of my comfort zone, but somehow I’ve come to really love it. And so now, again I have once again stepped out of my comfort zone and started a Bible study for the kids. I was pretty nervous about it, but thankfully I know the kiddos love me and knew going in if I messed up horribly it would be ok. Tonight we talked about creation and it went so well. The kids were excited about the study and were answering questions and wanting to be involved. We learned tonight that everything God c...

I received a letter this morning from one of the little girls. This isn’t anything out of the ordinary, our kids are very thoughtful and send me letters almost every day. This letter however, was a little different. Here is the translation: “I love you Rachel. Thank you because you didn’t let me die in this hurricane. Thank you because you helped me. When I was sick you took me to the hospital. In the earthquake you didn’t let me die and you gave me food. I want to say thank you very much Rachel. God Bless you so much Rachel.” All I could do was hug her and tell her I love her. Rachel

One of the best things about living in Haiti is having the opportunity to serve along side AMAZING people from all over the world! We currently have staff here from Canada, the United States and Japan! There is a special bond between staff here. You go through a lot together, the good, the bad and the ugly. Living in community can sometimes be a challenge, (working together, living together, eating together…). However, it can also be super fun; dance parties, dinner parties, movie nights, TV show marathons, Bible study, sweatfests, meltdowns, giggle-fests, celebrations and of course kickboxing at 5:30 in the morning. We go through it all together. As my fifth year comes to an end I am looking back and thinking of all the people I have met, the bonds I have made. So many people have touched my life. So many people have helped shape who I am today. So many amazing people have crossed my path, some just for a week, some for a year and some, I’m sure, for a lifetime. I have been blessed be...

Last Saturday was one of my favourite days ever. My alarm went off at 4:20am. It took me a minute to realize what was going on and then I remembered that I had to get ready for our surprise outing! Dr. Cheryl has been teaching a kickboxing class on her front porch for the past few months, the secret outing was a reward for everyone who had participated. I’m not going to lie, I kind of snuck in, I had only ever been to 4 classes! The nine of us squished into Cheryl’s car and headed out. We drove and drove not having a clue where we were going. Past Giant supermarket, past the church that sells beer, past the vendor’s where I almost bought that fat lady painting (that I still think about all the time!) and then up this windy road that led us to a gate marked “Barbie”. Walk through the doors and you quickly forget you are in Haiti. Barbie’s is this amazing salon and spa in Petion ville where you can get an amazing manicure/pedicure all for $15! A few hours later and with much smoother fee...

One fine day when I felt like everything that could go wrong was going wrong and I was feeling discouraged a wise man, named John Fraser, told me, “You know you are in God’s will and about to do something great for the kingdom when everything is coming up against you. It means Satan sees the great things coming and is working his tale off to stop it from happening.” Well, it would seem we must be doing something great, with all the changes going on at the orphanage, because I have had one of the worst weeks ever. It has been a constant struggle this week and to be honest it seems each day has progressively gotten worse. I am trying to keep my head up, and have a good attitude through it all. I try to focus on what John Boy told me and be confident that great things are on the horizon. Kenol shared a verse with me yesterday, which I have been trying to keep at the forefront of my mind through everything that has been going on. Exodus 14:14 The Lord will fight for you; you need only to b...