Thoughts on Anniversaries - The Kind You Want to Forget

Yesterday was January 12, 2020.

The 10 year anniversary of the earthquake in Haiti.

I've come to dread this date. I try to avoid social media on this day. I just don't really know how to handle the anniversary. Ignoring it makes me feel a little ungrateful, but acknowledging it just brings up a lot of bad memories I would much rather leave under the rubble.

That being said, my children became mine because of this dreadful day, so there is a silver lining.

So here we go; My annual earthquake entry.

I am thankful I am alive. I struggle seeing myself as a survivor, but I could have died that day. Any number of different choices and I would not be here today. Every day is a gift.

I am thankful the children and staff I was responsible for were safe. I am thankful I was able to care for and support the orphanage children and staff through the trauma. I see now how important that was for them, and for me, as someone who loves them so deeply. 

I am thankful my (now) husband miraculously survived, when he really shouldn't have. I am thankful my boys were safe where they were at the time the earthquake hit, and were not permanently traumatized by the quake. If there hadn't been an earthquake where would I be right now? My husband would still be married to Mariane, and she would still be my older boys mother. There would be no Jubilee or Zander. The earthquake brought me my family. I hope somehow Mariane knows her boys are deeply loved and cared for in her absence.

I am thankful that I experienced the earthquake. It bonded me to the Haitian people in a way that nothing else could have. In that experience we were united. There was no black and white.

I am thankful I was able to help so many people in the weeks and months following the earthquake. The things I did and was involved in were really mind blowing. I am thankful I was able to serve, even though it caused some trauma.

I am thankful God provided a safe place for me to stay when I needed to get out of Haiti and deal with that trauma. I am thankful the organization I worked for took me seriously when I said I needed help and made all the arrangements for me to get the help I needed. I'm thankful for the amazing counselling service I received provided by Hill Country Church in Austin, Texas.

I am thankful for life. Let me live it in a way that honours those who lost theirs that dreadful day.





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